Thursday 15 January 2015

Absent, present or both, or a new perspective seen from the inner side?

My last blog (january 2014)  I'have written one day before a  rather unexpected but major event changed my plans rather deeply. It was on a Tuesday and I remember that I felt somewhat tired and not satisfied with the results that day of my research work. And for a while I was deliberating with myself if I should take some rest or do some running. Running is for me an important way to renew my energy and concentration level. But I decided to take some rest, and laid myself down at the couch to have a nice and sound nap in the afternoon.

And then it happened........ within a few minutes I felt cold and my limps were shaking! So I took a blanket, but that didn't stop the shaking. And as soon as I laid down at bed, the shivering stopped, what felt like a great releave. But that was just for a short time: my temperature was rising fast. In two hours I had a temperature of 40.2 degree (Celsius = 104,36 F) and another two hours later I was in the hospital with 40.8 C/ 105,44 F at the suspicion of a pneumonia!!! So they checked everything: longs, blood, urine, BUT not my body. And because they couldn't find anything they gave me antibiotica (broad spectrum). This helped tot get the fever down and within the hour I had only 38 C/ 100,4 F. The nurse who brought me to my room told me I did come probably just in time!
The next morning they found the cause of all this: a bacterial infection in my left leg! And so I got a more precise shot of antibiotica and within two days I was back home with a receipt for another 8 days of antibiotica.
Soon the bacteria was declared to be dead and gone and my family doctor gave me the advice to behave myself more according to my age (59), because my condition was in bad shape: my condition was now at level zero because my physiological systeem had collapsed. My body had to do the rest of the fysical recovery.
At first I didn't understand this message at all, because before all this had happend I ran three times a week for one hour and a half. And sure I would need some time to recover,... that's no big deal!? 

But it appeared to be a huge deal: at first my walking (no running) and biking was at a very slow speed and for less than half an hour! My concentration was away. I could read the newspaper for a maximum of 10 minutes before falling asleep etc. I couldn't do  anything but being a patient and keep my rest. This happend in the beginning of the year, and now I'am writing this, just a year later! I'am back to work (even in another, more responsible job) and back to my research. I can do everything again. But my running is still strongly limited. I ran now for 13 minutes at most for the next intermission. I'am very happy about that and I see the light again. But, yeah....... it's been a long time to get at this point. I cannot remember being that ill for such a long time.

So while still wondering about the theme of the last message, I ask myself: if the bacteria is dead, and I'am at work again, and I'am only in my running limited, how would one call this situation. I'am not sick and I'am not absent or sick present at my work.
But I'am still not physically the same person as before I fell ill. So there appears to be even an other category, namely: being 100% healthy but with a (hopefully) temporary disability. So I'am disabled at work?
 

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